P1 Year

Summer semester is flying by! We have ~2 more weeks of class and then finals, and then are officially P2s! 

P2 year is out in the real world on clinical rotations. There are 8 five week blocks, covering family medicine X 2, internal medicine, emergency medicine, general surgery, OBGYN, psychiatric medicine, and an elective. 

There is so much to know, and I'm still just biting away at the edges of everything I'll have to digest by next year's end, but I can't believe how far we have come in 12 months.

We have a "clinical skills" class this semester where we have been learning a range of things from your basic ring removal to how to run a code. My program really goes above and beyond here, and has gotten veeeeery creative in order to give us practice. Abscesses made of tapioca pudding, styrofoam eyeballs dipped in wax and stuck with foreign bodies, not to mention what we practice on each other, from diabetic foot exams to blood draws to injections.

One of the most fun has been learning stitches. Our "simulation lab" made fake skin pieces for us to practice on. Here are some simple interrupted and vertical mattress sutures submitted for judgement:

In addition to the regular work, a classmate and I are doing a research project at our free clinic for homeless men. I have no idea if it is something I am allowed to talk about much, as we are hoping to publish our findings at some point, but it has been really fun to get to be at the clinic more and get to know the men there. They have really embraced us and our work there, and are funny and very insightful into their own lives. It's been great.

This summer semester has been a real grind to get through. There are SO many tests, and so much material to learn. These last couple weeks it is definitely getting to me. For example, why am I awake now at 4 am????!!

The longer the summer goes on the more I can't think of any words I want in coversation--I'll know where I'm going and when I get to the end of the sentence it just isn't there. I'm mixing up letters when I take notes. I've started the coffee maker with nothing underneath to catch the coffee. This post is over 50% composed of just commas and the word "really." 

One classmate of mine went to a rotation with two different shoes on. Another calculated that out of the 220 class days of our P1 year we will have done 157 exams/quizzes and 39 reports.

I can't wait for that to be over and am both excited and terrified for next year. We find out the exact order and location of our different rotations in a few weeks, but I know my first 3 will be general surgery, OBGYN, and psychiatric medicine. Eek!

All this being said, I never lose sight of the razor-thin alternate reality where I didn't get in to PA school at all. Every time I see people interviewing for the program in their little black suits my insides scrunch up. People like to tell them how hard it is but I want to grab them by the shoulders and shout, "IT IS SO AWESOME, I HOPE YOU GET THE CHANCE" before running away to cram for the next test. 

Into the Fray

This blog post is in honor of my Uncle Tom Newman, who is surely my most loyal reader and supporter ❤️.

As I mentioned a little while ago, I started a two year Physician Assistant masters program. I am now 4 months in and absolutely love it. I have found my niche.

I haven't posted recently, partly because it is an intensive program with lots of exams every week and other heavy experiences as we learn. The other reason is I'm not sure just how much I am allowed to say, ethically and legally. 

We have a cadaver lab. It is a strange experience, to be surrounded by the deceased and actually dissect them, but it is a gift I am grateful for. I have been lucky enough to hold human hearts and brains, and feel the weight of them. I am very conscious of the decision my gentleman made to donate his body for my learning. I can't thank him directly, but I wrap his body up and tuck him in very carefully after every lab, and hope it is enough. 

I can't believe how much we have learned in 4 months. I have a long way to go, and so much more to learn, but already I can see it taking shape, and have been able to examine patients and watch procedures and try to help people.

I also have really enjoyed meeting the other 78 students in my class. We have formed a support network I didn't expect, sharing notes and study tips. On Friday I witnessed my first truly devastating tragic event, and when I shared with the class I received many hugs, and some tissues. 

I just can't say enough good things! I'm so happy to be there. As I posted before, it took almost three years from making the decision to pursue a physician assistant masters degree to actually having all the requirements and getting accepted. The application process was rough, and I still feel so lucky to have gotten in.

My point here is that if there is something you really want to do, it's never too late. After an undergrad degree and a number of different jobs (all of which I DID like, it's worth saying), at the age of 29 I have finally found my true place, where the skills I am using are also the skills I am most proud of having. The trick about life changes is they are rarely a choice between something great and something terrible, instead they are usually a choice between something new that could be great and something comfortable and fine. If you didn't do it, you'd still be happy, but man, if you do it!

I am feeling a little vulnerable at the moment. In some ways, we are spending months learning all the things that can go wrong with your own body or people you love. For that reason I just want to say for the record that if anything tragic happens to me, know that I had an amazing life and I loved it all, and loved YOU all.

That being said, we are also learning all the ways that we can help when things go wrong, and the incredible resilience of the human body and mind. There is so much we can do, and we will do it.

I hope you are all doing really well. I am off to study! 3 exams this week and then final exams all next week. I can't believe the first semester is over, and I can't wait to see what we learn next!

Love,

Kathleen