I don't know how to write this without saying something culturally offensive. I understand that a lot of these things have religious significance, that I have been here a short time, and I likely don't know a lot of the details.
That being said, I have found being a woman in Dubai and in parts of India to be a lonely experience.
Earlier in the trip we met someone who wouldn't talk to me directly. He asked Subash questions about me, even as I was sitting next to him. "Where is she from?" "She eats Indian food?" I finally asked him questions about how his day had gone to force him to look at me and talk to me.
In a different case, someone was praying and left the room when I came in to go pray in a more pure space.
In many places here, men won't touch me. They won't shake hands. Many would argue that I should adapt and respect local culture, but mostly I put my hand out anyway and force them to take it. In India this happens as well. In some cases men will not touch any woman who is not their wife.
On the surface this might sound nice, or romantic, or courteous, but I do not think so. To me it means that I am first and foremost a sexual object, always always.
Similarly, I find the extensive body covering of women here frustrating. Another case where I know I should be more understanding, but deep down am not. For the record I still believe that women can choose to wear whatever they want! But.
The problem I have with it is that little girls do not have to follow the same rules, which means that at some point in their lives it is decided by society that NOW they are ready to be sexually objectified by strangers. Maybe if I lived with it I would understand it differently, but as an outsider this is very depressing. Someone gets to decide that for you. When? Where is the line?
You could argue these rules don't give men enough credit either. It implies that men are so all consumed by sex at all times that they are incapable of functioning if a woman is wearing shorts, or if they touch her hand. If I were a man I would be insulted! How weak do we think they are?
I am not being an "angry feminist" here, although I am a feminist, and I am angry. What surprised me, though, is that I am sad.
Not shaking my hand, when you just shook the hand of the person standing next to me, and the person next to them, means that I am inherently different, no matter what I do. No matter what I accomplish the fact that I am a woman will always come first, and render me untouchable.
I wish I could put it into words better!!! This is the best I can do:
I am going about my day, talking, making plans, meeting people. In my head, things are one way. I hope people like me. I feel like I am part of something. Then suddenly it is pointed out to me, in front of everyone else, that I am NOT a part of it like I thought. This fact is I can never really join in, not completely.
These things matter. I am afraid to sound like I'm exaggerating or making something out of nothing, but it matters to me. It makes me feel deflated and like I'm not a person.
My body can do amazing things, it has carried me my whole life. My heart beats, my arm have held everything I've ever loved. Even so, it is probably the least interesting part of who I am. I can't be defined by it all the time, it's tiring and it's boring. I have other things to say.
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