Journal Pages - India

Within a Picture

One of my favorite things to do while driving around in India is prop the iPhone up on the window and take dozens of pictures. Sometimes I know I have gotten something good, but a lot of times I can't be sure what I've captured until I go back and look at them again, especially on a larger screen. I like zooming in to each photo to search for unexpected moments and small details I didn't know where there when I originally took it. 

I took this of a man selling peanuts--apparently peanuts are the big winter "thing" here in Delhi. What I didn't see was the boy to the left playing by pushing a bicycle wheel with a stick and the two children on top of the roof looking down, the girl's tiny ponytail sticking up into the air.

I took this of the a man sewing while someone else watches. But who is the third man in the corner? What is the tailor looking for in the box?

See the dog investigating a cart stacked with food. 

Family business?

Tiny baby foot!

This boy has a small gold hoop in his right ear. 

An old woman watches a dog which appears to be growling, a baby sheep or goat stands behind the young woman's bed.

 Man reads the paper, man takes a nap, man gets a shave, boy watches.

It goes on and on, as much variation in the photos as life on the streets. Four more days in India! Better make the most of it.

Udaipur, Rajasthan

Back and Better in India

About a week ago we touched down back in India for our second leg here. Last time we went south and this time are heading north to Rajasthan.

I'm excited to be back! The intervening months in Sri Lanka and Bangladesh have changed me, as this trip has changed me. I feel like a more confident person, more centered in who I am. I am living at the front of myself.

We went first to Ahmedabad, and then Jamnagar, to stay with a good friend's sister. We are being well spoiled with cups of chai, tables of food, and good company. My need to take pictures of every cow kindly tolerated.

I am obsessed with these zebu cows! They are amazing, with soft long ears and eyes that look like they are lined in kajal. 

They are everywhere in Jamnagar, and this is just a fraction of the photos I have of them.

There are also camels! Camels working on the streets, pulling carts, pulling loads. Parked next to the motorcycles.

There are lots of other animals too--cats, dogs, goats, buffalo.

If you are lucky enough to be out when school begins or ends, you can also see children of all ages in their little uniforms. 

It's not that being in India makes me feel alive, it's more like it reminds me that I already am. That I've been alive this whole time.

    

Our time is going by and I am trying to stay aware, soak everything in.

In a few days we are heading to Rajasthan. I can't wait to see what happens.

 

Run, baby, run.

Woman in a Man's World

I don't know how to write this without saying something culturally offensive. I understand that a lot of these things have religious significance, that I have been here a short time, and I likely don't know a lot of the details.

That being said, I have found being a woman in Dubai and in parts of India to be a lonely experience. 

Earlier in the trip we met someone who wouldn't talk to me directly. He asked Subash questions about me, even as I was sitting next to him. "Where is she from?" "She eats Indian food?" I finally asked him questions about how his day had gone to force him to look at me and talk to me.

In a different case, someone was praying and left the room when I came in to go pray in a more pure space.

In many places here, men won't touch me. They won't shake hands. Many would argue that I should adapt and respect local culture, but mostly I put my hand out anyway and force them to take it. In India this happens as well. In some cases men will not touch any woman who is not their wife.

On the surface this might sound nice, or romantic, or courteous, but I do not think so. To me it means that I am first and foremost a sexual object, always always.

Similarly, I find the extensive body covering of women here frustrating. Another case where I know I should be more understanding, but deep down am not. For the record I still believe that women can choose to wear whatever they want! But.

The problem I have with it is that little girls do not have to follow the same rules, which means that at some point in their lives it is decided by society that NOW they are ready to be sexually objectified by strangers. Maybe if I lived with it I would understand it differently, but as an outsider this is very depressing. Someone gets to decide that for you. When? Where is the line?

You could argue these rules don't give men enough credit either. It implies that men are so all consumed by sex at all times that they are incapable of functioning if a woman is wearing shorts, or if they touch her hand. If I were a man I would be insulted! How weak do we think they are? 

I am not being an "angry feminist" here, although I am a feminist, and I am angry. What surprised me, though, is that I am sad.

Not shaking my hand, when you just shook the hand of the person standing next to me, and the person next to them, means that I am inherently different, no matter what I do. No matter what I accomplish the fact that I am a woman will always come first, and render me untouchable. 

I wish I could put it into words better!!! This is the best I can do:

I am going about my day, talking, making plans, meeting people. In my head, things are one way. I hope people like me. I feel like I am part of something. Then suddenly it is pointed out to me, in front of everyone else, that I am NOT a part of it like I thought. This fact is I can never really join in, not completely.

These things matter. I am afraid to sound like I'm exaggerating or making something out of nothing, but it matters to me. It makes me feel deflated and like I'm not a person. 

My body can do amazing things, it has carried me my whole life. My heart beats, my arm have held everything I've ever loved. Even so, it is probably the least interesting part of who I am. I can't be defined by it all the time, it's tiring and it's boring. I have other things to say.

The Difference We Make

After the angsty existential crisis of the last post I thought I should share the other side.

If the amount of poverty, helplessness, and shit luck is overwhelming, than the acts against it are even more so. To see it day in and day out and refuse to become numb, an incredible defiance. Even more surprising, it is not unusual.

Near our hotel there was a stray dog--one of thousands in every city--that was heavily pregnant. It laid in the heat, panting. While waiting for an auto suddenly it's face transformed. It turned Ito a puppy again, tail wagging and body wiggling, as a man came over to greet it. He pet her lovingly for a long time before moving on again to his work or his family or whatever it may be.

I've seen many examples of this. People feeding cats and dogs, pigeons, crows. 

I've also seen them giving money to people on the street, even though they are asked daily. 

One friend called a girl over to his window and handed out a pack of biscuits--one of a handful of boxes I saw stashed in his back window for that purpose.

Another gave a bag of shoes and clothes to a group of men. He did it casually, kindly, innocently, with no pity. In his mind it was simple. He saw a need and he filled it.

These things happen all the time. 

A few weeks ago Subash and I had the absolute privilege to visit the Ashraya Initiative in Pune, India.

Out of all of the non-profits, NGOs, and charities I have heard of, it is by far my favorite. I have never seen a place so pure of intention, and so without a separate agenda. 

You will find it down a winding side street in Pune, across from a series of corproate buildings but in another universe. It's volunteers and employees work with some of the most forgotten and destitute of India--tribal groups that fell through the cracks. It's worth taking a spin through Wikipedia's pages on the "criminal tribes of India" and "denotification acts" for the background on how this happened.

It started as a home for abandoned street children, and in only 10 years has grown to now be home to and raise a dozen children, educated over 200, and give kids a place to come after school for tutoring and playtime that isn't on the street. Their work expanded when they realized kids with sick family members couldn't come to school, and they now have a community health outreach center providing treatment for TB, health advocates, family planning, connections to emergency services, and more. They were able to get one of the children in the area to Mumbai for cancer treatment, they provide home visits and follow ups to ensure compliance, they help pregnant women get hospital care. They also provide workshops to teach professional skills like tailoring to women in the area to try to help prevent child marriage. They give out micro loans to promote business. Many of their employees are local men and women. I could go on and on, it is so astounding to me. 

Besides touring their facilities we got to meet the kids!! Adorable smart funny kids in pressed school uniforms, who were SO excited to speak to Subash in Hindi, and tell me their names. 

They all spoke impeccable English, and have been able to hold their own and excel in difficult classes with far more privileged children. Some of the kids who were with the program when it first started are now in college!!!!!

Their website is www.ashrayainitiative.org and they have all kinds of cool info about their projects. Many many thanks to MK Hazel and everyone else there for giving us such a warm welcome and all the incredible work they do.

Its amazing, really. The direct comparison of what people have done. And what can be.

Sunandan Lele, a famous sports journalist in Pune took us out to breakfast one morning. He told us about some of his charity work and I told him he made me want to be a better person. He told me not to wait.

I will try.