Into the Fray

This blog post is in honor of my Uncle Tom Newman, who is surely my most loyal reader and supporter ❤️.

As I mentioned a little while ago, I started a two year Physician Assistant masters program. I am now 4 months in and absolutely love it. I have found my niche.

I haven't posted recently, partly because it is an intensive program with lots of exams every week and other heavy experiences as we learn. The other reason is I'm not sure just how much I am allowed to say, ethically and legally. 

We have a cadaver lab. It is a strange experience, to be surrounded by the deceased and actually dissect them, but it is a gift I am grateful for. I have been lucky enough to hold human hearts and brains, and feel the weight of them. I am very conscious of the decision my gentleman made to donate his body for my learning. I can't thank him directly, but I wrap his body up and tuck him in very carefully after every lab, and hope it is enough. 

I can't believe how much we have learned in 4 months. I have a long way to go, and so much more to learn, but already I can see it taking shape, and have been able to examine patients and watch procedures and try to help people.

I also have really enjoyed meeting the other 78 students in my class. We have formed a support network I didn't expect, sharing notes and study tips. On Friday I witnessed my first truly devastating tragic event, and when I shared with the class I received many hugs, and some tissues. 

I just can't say enough good things! I'm so happy to be there. As I posted before, it took almost three years from making the decision to pursue a physician assistant masters degree to actually having all the requirements and getting accepted. The application process was rough, and I still feel so lucky to have gotten in.

My point here is that if there is something you really want to do, it's never too late. After an undergrad degree and a number of different jobs (all of which I DID like, it's worth saying), at the age of 29 I have finally found my true place, where the skills I am using are also the skills I am most proud of having. The trick about life changes is they are rarely a choice between something great and something terrible, instead they are usually a choice between something new that could be great and something comfortable and fine. If you didn't do it, you'd still be happy, but man, if you do it!

I am feeling a little vulnerable at the moment. In some ways, we are spending months learning all the things that can go wrong with your own body or people you love. For that reason I just want to say for the record that if anything tragic happens to me, know that I had an amazing life and I loved it all, and loved YOU all.

That being said, we are also learning all the ways that we can help when things go wrong, and the incredible resilience of the human body and mind. There is so much we can do, and we will do it.

I hope you are all doing really well. I am off to study! 3 exams this week and then final exams all next week. I can't believe the first semester is over, and I can't wait to see what we learn next!

Love,

Kathleen

This Week in London

These last few days have been busy with adventure. I have been trying to make the most of my time here and have ventured out every day to a new place to see what I can see.

Once on our last trip a well-to-do English businessman asked me what my favorite part of London is, and I said "the transportation system." He was disappointed in my answer, but I stand by it. Trains, trams, tubes, and buses, you can get anywhere. The city is so well connected, and you rarely have to wait more than 10 minutes for your next ride. The place we are staying is about 8 miles outside of the city proper, which translates to over an hour journey in to areas like London Bridge and the waterfront, but that hour is easy and is have gotten pretty good at figuring out the main hubs from which other side trips can follow.

There is great pleasure in a latte and a train seat by the window. In this case there was even a table, and I happily watched the fields and brick buildings and graffitied back walls go by. 

My first day out was to the Old Operating Theatre. It was used for poor women mostly, in the early 1800s before anesthetics were invented, and is one of the only 19th century operating theaters still surviving.

I paid 6 pounds to go in (about $10 US) which I never would have done on our world trip. I'm so glad I did, though! By chance, King's Medical College was holding a special lecture for their students inside the theatre on the use of surgery in cancer treatment. I sat down too and listened to the whole thing. It was incredible---the platform where the patient was operated on in the 1800s was now holding a laptop and projector, a screen was hung in front of the place where the surgeons used to (sometimes) rinse their hands in a porcelain bowl, the students and I sat around the wooden rows where medical students used to watch surgeries, beneath the same sign--a quote in Latin that means "mercy before wealth." 

It was an amazing experience, and made me even more excited for the physician assistant program to start in August. 

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I drew all the time on our world trip, but have hardly drawn at all since then. I wanted to get back to it so I google searched for drawing classes in London and found the "London Life Drawing Society" and went to a drop in session for 10 pounds--right down the street from the British Museum, I might add, which was cool in its own right.

I was very nervous about going--what if everyone there is friends and I'm a random stranger, what if everyone there is really good at drawing and I'm not, what if the model looks at my drawing and feels bad about themselves because I drew them poorly, what if I go to the wrong place and walk in and everyone stares at me and and and. Standing outside the door all of my insides yelled at me to just go home and take a nap. I powered through, however, and of course am so glad I did.

 

I've never gone to a life drawing class before, aka nude model. Little desks were arranged in a circle around a table covered with a black cloth. The model had some sort of accident and couldn't come, but to my great surprise one of the other people in the class just decided to get naked and be the model instead. 

While I am by no means a real artist and nowhere near as skilled as most of the people in the class, I was surprised to find I wasn't actually THAT bad. I've always thought that a person's drawing ability was 70% natural and 30% learned, but now I think it's more like only 20% natural, 30% learned, and 50% practice. My ability to draw has increased dramatically in the last year as I just did it over and over again.

The class was a series of 10 and 20 minute poses. It was great experience to have the time to just stare at something and really see what it looked like, how the parts related to one another in space. I had enough time to realize that I have a tendency to make legs too short, and fix it. 

I used charcoal, which I've never really used before. It was so fun! I made the decision to commit to big dark lines, which normally I am afraid of. With the charcoal though if a line went wrong I could just rub it away. 

The guy next to me did this cool thing where he shaded in the paper with the charcoal and then used the eraser to draw. I tried to do this but realized I'm just not skilled enough to get the first line right like the style required, so I drew on top instead and ended with my favorite drawing of the day. It's a style I would never have thought of without going to the class to see my neighbor's idea.

The class also made me feel oddly body-confident and in love with the bodies of all my fellow humans. The man who modeled was very muscled, and it was fun to draw him because you could see the muscles under the skin and it was interesting from an anatomical perspective, but the other two people who modeled first were heavy, and were equally fun to draw because they had swooping curvy lines and just as much detail. I had so much fun, and drawing them felt like a way to celebrate each of them for their unique shape among 7 billion others.

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Finally, yesterday I went out to the Camden Passage antique market, and the to the "Fashion on the Ration" exhibit at the Imperial War Museum.

The antique market was a bit out of my price range, generally, but I had fun wandering up and down the narrow street looking at piles of shiny old things.

I did end up buying this necklace for about $10 US, a souvenir from my adventures.

I ate an amazing "apple and goat cheese" crepe and then went off to the war museum.

The exhibit was 10 pounds, which I don't really think it was worth, although the rest of the museum is free so I suppose they have to make their money somewhere. It was all about how men and women made do during the many shortages of world war 2, and the clever ways they reused items to stay unique and fashionable in a time of crisis.

My favorite examples were of the purses that had special slots to hold a gas mask and luminescent white buttons to give visibility during blackouts:

And the lingerie made from silk maps given to soldiers of the areas they were deployed. The one is from a silk map of Italy a woman's boyfriend had been given while fighting there, which was repurposed by her during the major silk shortages of the war. 

It's been a great week so far. I only have 10 days left before it's back home again to real life. Even that will be okay, though. We have moved to a new town so I can go to school and I don't know anything about it yet, but it seems promising. This trip has inspired me to explore our new town the way I would explore a tourist destination. Walk around, figure out the buses, look for free events, make the effort.

But! That is still ten days away. For now it is off on the next adventure.

Away Again

Today I find myself at the airport again. I am heading to London, where Subash is already waiting, having been there the last 2 weeks watching cricket.

We booked these tickets shortly after returning from our trip--it is good we did, because honestly I doubt we would have booked them now. It seems a bit crazy, but I'm taking it as a gift from our month-ago-travel-happy selves. One last hurrah before two years of school.

That being said, I am very excited to be going! 20 days of fancy coffee and free museums and reuniting with trip friends. 

The cheapest flight was from New York, so I made my way here earlier today. It is about four hours from my parents, and after exploring the options I decided to take a van here. Supertrans!

Me and four of my closest strangers made our way from outside Philadelphia to JFK. 

I have gotten pretty good at packing, although I probably brought as many clothes for this 20 days as I did for our whole world trip. It was kind of liberating to throw in some extra things without having to think of lugging it around for months. I also have a small carry-on full almost entirely with presents. I believe very much in the IDEA of never arriving empty handed, but am sorry to say that even despite depending on the kindness of strangers for most of our trip we hardly ever came bearing gifts to show just how much we appreciated what everyone did for us and how much we liked them. I can blame it on a lack of luggage space and funds, but whatever the reason I really regret it. Sorry, everyone! This time, seeing some of our old friends (and depending on their kindness once again) I am ready!

I will try to photograph the luggage at some point, but the breakdown is as follows:

1 x jeans 

1 x shorty shorts

1 x dress that can go either casual or fancy depending on accessories 

2 x tank tops

2 x t-shirts

2 x long sleeved shirts

1 x cardigan

1 x sweater

1 x sneakers (wearing for journey there to reduce packing space)

1 x sandals

1 x first aid kit

1 x giant medical text book and flash cards, required for my program in August 

As for my purse, I took this photo at the airport for your perusal: 

These are all the things I've learned to be most important to have on your actual person when possible instead of packed away. The breakdown here is:

Slightly trashy novel

Journal and two pens

Travel watercolor set and tiny watercolor papers (in the zippered pouch)

Eye glasses

Sunglasses

Eye cover -- I've never used one of these before but have been having some light sensitivity issues lately and thought I'd give it a try

Headphones

Phone charger and UK adapter 

Candy

Make up and deodorant 

I also have on my person a sweater and a fashion scarf, which I have learned by experience always come in handy when traveling. 

They've started boarding now so I should go. I have a D seat which I think means I'm going to end up in the middle, but we can always hope for a miracle. 

I'm off to 7 hours of terrible movie watching and sleeping, and then to the tube and at last our friends' house where Subash and fun times are waiting.

See you on the other side! 

One Year On

In a few days, it will be an entire year since Subash and I last had a space of our own. An entire year of living out of back packs, and more recently boxes, sleeping in other people's beds, and generally relying on the kindness of strangers.

Since returning to the US, that kindness has mainly been my parents'. We've been living in their house, in my childhood bedroom, with piles of every remaining thing we own heaped around the bed. It's not the prettiest, but it has let us get back on our feet and save up for a real apartment. I am forever grateful to this gift of time my parents have given us, at the cost of their personal space.

One of the best parts of coming home has been seeing our cats again. We all quickly resumed our proper places.

I am starting a physician assistant masters program in August, which I am so excited about. I was in a completely different career, working as a quality control chemist, when I decided to make the change. Changing careers is like turning a big ship--you have to make a series of small adjustments and for a long time the horizon looks the same and it feels like nothing has changed, but ever so gradually land comes into view. Between first deciding to switch careers and actually getting accepted to a program was over a three year process, and included volunteering at a hospital on weekends, taking 5 prerequisite courses I didn't get in undergrad, quitting my salaried/benefits "career" for a minimum wage flex phlebotomy position, taking the GREs, and more. All together it seems overwhelming, even from the other side, but one degree at a time the ship was turned, and here I am!! I can't believe it, and I can't wait to get started.

So we are now, finally, preparing to move into a new apartment in a new town so I can start my new program. Our lease starts July 1st and I am so excited to have our own space. Our new apartment has fake wood floors and two windows in the living room, a dishwasher, and air conditioning. Such luxury! I am most looking forward to decorating with the few precious objects I brought back from our trip. Doorknobs from India, masks from Sri Lanka, block prints from New Zealand.

Because we got rid of most of our belongings a year ago, this is also a chance to start over with a clean slate. My tendency is always to accumulate. I have three bags full of pamphlets and receipts from our trip that I've been schlepping around because, even though I don't really want them, I can't get rid of them yet. I've always joked that I'm just one or two tragedies away from being a hoarder, and there is a ring of truth to it. I like clean organized spaces, but I get some kind of strange packrat caveman pleasure from being surrounded by everything I could ever need. On airplanes, I keep my backpack by my feet  instead of in the overhead bin--even if I never open it, I like knowing that it's there.

This is no way to live, though, and I am going to try to use our new apartment as an opportunity to clean out the remaining detritus of my life and start fresh. I read an article that said you should ask every item if it "brings you joy," and get rid of anything where the answer is no. It's a little hippy-dippy, but I'm going to give it a try. 

I learned a lot on our trip about myself and what I want from my life. I am trying to put those things in to practice. I have been cooking more, and I learned how to make a great latte. I solemnly swear to have guest towels in our new apartment. Most of all, though, I have been trying to "stand alone," which is the best phrasing I can come up with for the idea of presenting myself to the world without apologies, or distractions. 

I met a lot of amazing people on our trip who inspired me, especially women. These women knew who they were, liked themselves, and stood alone in it. 

I'm trying to learn from their example, and I'm getting there! One small turn at a time.

Home Again

On March 31st at 6 am we got in a cab, went to the Melbourne Airport, and started the long flight home.

I can't believe our trip is over! We have been home for almost two weeks now and it seems like it should be time for us to move on to our next location, but there are no next location left!

Our flight home was relatively uneventful, with one 14 hour leg and one 7 hour. Our seatmate on the 14 hour flight was a hilarious guy from Tennesee, who, when they forgot to feed Subash and I, snuck in the back and stole us some hotdogs. (Note: airplane hotdogs may not be the best idea). Then they finally came around and gave us more hotdogs, and I ate them all, before having to turn over something like seven empty hotdog boxes to the flight attendant collecting trash. Hats off to you, seatmate guy, wherever you are.

We finally made it to New York, and my parents! It was so nice to see them after all this time. 

My dad took some pictures of us with all of our stuff and when I looked at them later I found this amazing photobomb:

The purple suitcase I bought in a second hand store in South Africa (what could possibly go wrong in a sentence like that) made it to the end, mostly. The handle and wheels were broken off on its first voyage, and the stitching holding all of my treasures inside was giving way, so I had it plastic-wrapped at the Melbourne Airport. It seems to have worked, as all of my souvenirs from our 9 months made it. Plus it was easy to identify my bag at the luggage claim, as that one with the jaggedy plastic shard sticking out at the bottom where a wheel used to be.

For anyone curious about our financials, we ended the trip with about $400 to our name. Accordingly, we have now moved in with my parents! 

My poor parents have already had our two cats all this time, who have been slowly destroying their nice house. One has scratched up their previously flawless couches, while the other chewed off all the pull-cords to their window blinds. 

Seeing our cats again was one of the best parts of coming home, and we have quickly resumed our old positions of taking naps together.

My parents are incredible saints for everything they've done for us, and we couldn't have done this trip without them. We were so jammed for time when we left last July that we basically abandoned all of our remaining belongings on their front porch, which they then had to deal with alone for no good reason. They have been incredible.

So now what! 

The first few days were rough as we dealt with all of the paperwork of normal stationary life. Taxes were due within two weeks of coming back. My drivers license had expired and we had sent back the license plate on our car so we didn't have to pay car insurance while we were away, and the car was also now out of inspection. Our health insurance had to be sorted. A giant box of mail awaited our attention.

I am very excited to say that I got in to graduate school, which I applied to before we left on the trip. I start a two year program in August, and it has been a huge help knowing that there is something set. We drove over to the area a few days ago to see where we should live, and I think it will be okay.

I've been looking for a job. Something, anything. 

I can't believe our trip is over. Not that long ago we were in New Zealand. Even less than that I was surfing in Australia.

How do you keep all of the best parts of who you are when traveling in your normal daily life?

I'll have to try. 

United States Soil

Australia Journal Pages

Ever since I finished my first trip journal / art book, I lost some momentum and haven't been making as much. This book just doesn't feel as cohesive as the last one somehow. Despite that, I am powering through! Here are the pages I have so far for Australia, in the order they appear.