As I mentioned a little while ago, I started a two year Physician Assistant masters program. I am now 4 months in and absolutely love it. I have found my niche.
I haven't posted recently, partly because it is an intensive program with lots of exams every week and other heavy experiences as we learn. The other reason is I'm not sure just how much I am allowed to say, ethically and legally.
We have a cadaver lab. It is a strange experience, to be surrounded by the deceased and actually dissect them, but it is a gift I am grateful for. I have been lucky enough to hold human hearts and brains, and feel the weight of them. I am very conscious of the decision my gentleman made to donate his body for my learning. I can't thank him directly, but I wrap his body up and tuck him in very carefully after every lab, and hope it is enough.
I can't believe how much we have learned in 4 months. I have a long way to go, and so much more to learn, but already I can see it taking shape, and have been able to examine patients and watch procedures and try to help people.
I also have really enjoyed meeting the other 78 students in my class. We have formed a support network I didn't expect, sharing notes and study tips. On Friday I witnessed my first truly devastating tragic event, and when I shared with the class I received many hugs, and some tissues.
I just can't say enough good things! I'm so happy to be there. As I posted before, it took almost three years from making the decision to pursue a physician assistant masters degree to actually having all the requirements and getting accepted. The application process was rough, and I still feel so lucky to have gotten in.
My point here is that if there is something you really want to do, it's never too late. After an undergrad degree and a number of different jobs (all of which I DID like, it's worth saying), at the age of 29 I have finally found my true place, where the skills I am using are also the skills I am most proud of having. The trick about life changes is they are rarely a choice between something great and something terrible, instead they are usually a choice between something new that could be great and something comfortable and fine. If you didn't do it, you'd still be happy, but man, if you do it!
I am feeling a little vulnerable at the moment. In some ways, we are spending months learning all the things that can go wrong with your own body or people you love. For that reason I just want to say for the record that if anything tragic happens to me, know that I had an amazing life and I loved it all, and loved YOU all.
That being said, we are also learning all the ways that we can help when things go wrong, and the incredible resilience of the human body and mind. There is so much we can do, and we will do it.
I hope you are all doing really well. I am off to study! 3 exams this week and then final exams all next week. I can't believe the first semester is over, and I can't wait to see what we learn next!
Love,
Kathleen
